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The weak link March 5, 2012

Posted by Ezra Resnick in Belief, Superstition.
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Dear friend,

Let me begin by assuring you that this letter is COMPLETELY LEGITIMATE, and everything in it is 100% TRUE. I can wholeheartedly vouch for this based on my PERSONAL EXPERIENCE. I implore you to read this letter carefully in its entirety, and follow its instructions exactly.

This letter will change your life! But whether your life changes for the better or for the worse depends on how you proceed. One man from New York ignored this letter, and six weeks later he got CANCER. A woman from Chicago couldn’t be bothered to follow all of the letter’s instructions, and subsequently lost all her life’s savings. I’m sorry to report that my very own cousin decided she “didn’t believe” this letter, and sadly she has been DIVORCED three times.

Don’t let this unique opportunity pass you by: all you have to do is follow the simple instructions in this letter, and you are GUARANTEED to receive UNLIMITED GOOD LUCK! One woman from Texas won a $50,000 lottery. A man from Los Angeles saw his tumor — declared INCURABLE by doctors — disappear. I myself found the love of my life shortly after committing to the system detailed below, and we are now happily married.

So what do you need to do? It’s easy. First and foremost: You must BELIEVE it will work. Push all negative, skeptical thoughts out of your mind. The system only works if you BELIEVE — this is the power of POSITIVE THINKING.

Second: Make a note of today’s date, and mark it prominently on all your calendars. It’s the date on which your new life began! Every year, on the anniversary of today’s date (starting today), make ten copies of this letter and send them to ten new people. This shows your commitment to spreading love and joy in the world. (Sending the letter to children is allowed and encouraged.)

Third: You must pledge to live your life from today onward as a GOOD PERSON. Do not steal, cheat, rape, etc. — doing so may disqualify you from receiving the UNLIMITED GOOD LUCK mentioned above.

Fourth: You must shun people who do not believe in the system. Their negativity could jeopardize your success! Recognize that those who oppose the system are arrogant, egotistical troublemakers. Make it clear that their offensive “opinions” are not welcome.

Fifth and finally: You must immediately send $10 (ten US dollars) to the address printed on the reverse side of this letter. This modest gesture is a symbol of your personal commitment to the system, and honors those who came before you. In most cases, no further payment will be required. Remember: any investment you make in the system will be repaid beyond your wildest dreams!

Above all, remember to always have faith in the system. If you do not immediately see all the personal benefits you had hoped for, be patient: the effects take a varying amount of time to manifest. Also, bear in mind that things which seem bad in the short run often turn out to be good in the long run. And of course, if the system is not working for you, it’s quite probable that your BELIEF is simply not strong enough — try to improve your POSITIVE THINKING.

No matter what, do not quit the system! You are an essential link in an unbroken chain, and many, many people are depending on you (as you depend on them). Together, there is nothing we cannot do. But one weak link is enough to break even the strongest chain. Don’t be the weak link!

The choice is yours, dear friend. Your future is in your hands. I hope that you will have the wisdom to recognize the amazing opportunity that has come your way, and that you will keep the chain strong. After all, what have you got to lose?

Comments»

1. Reason Being - March 6, 2012

Great post. It really highlights just how foolish religion is in a comical way that everyone with email understands. Very creative–I love it.

Sorry to say, as the first commenter, that I am the weak link….

Ezra Resnick - March 6, 2012

Thanks, Reason Being!


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